When you’re planning your wedding guest list, an ex isn’t probably at the top. The idea of inviting an ex to your wedding is often a little taboo and can sometimes create a bit of confusion. If you’re on the fence on whether or not to invite your ex to your wedding, here are a few things to consider.

When Did You Date Them?

Was this the last relationship you were in before you got together with your current fiancé or did the two of you date 15 years ago in the 7th grade? Usually, it’s safer to invite exes you dated way in the past, to the point where you both laugh about it and have dated several other people since parting ways.

Is Your Ex a Spouse and the Parent of Your Children?

If you and your ex share children and you’re on very good terms with them, you may want to invite them to show your children that the other parent supports your new union. That can also put your children at ease if they’re still not 100% comfortable to accept a new parent. However, if you and your ex-spouse don’t get along, you’re better off cutting them from the guest list.

Are You Worried About How Your Ex Will Behave?

Do you have full confidence that your ex will be respectful during your wedding? Or do you have a gut-based fear that he or she will make a scene that will disrupt your big day and cause tension? If you have any feeling whatsoever that your ex won’t behave properly, don’t invite them.

Are You Okay Introducing Them to Family?

Your family likely knows your ex as just that, an ex, so if you don’t think you can introduce them to other family members as a friend without garnering a few weird looks or comments, it’s safer to leave them off the guest list.

Is Everyone Okay Inviting Them?

We mean everyone. Of course, you want your fiancé to feel comfortable about inviting your ex, but you also don’t want your parents, future in-laws, wedding party, or other close family members or friends to feel any qualms about it.

If you don’t think anyone will have any issues with your ex being at the wedding, go ahead and invite them. But if you think even one or two people will feel uncomfortable having them there, don’t.